Peer Bonding
by TJ Dragonblade
Summary: An evening out drinking with his peers goes very, very wrong for poor Yamato.  Or maybe it's right.  Preliminary YamaSai.  Drunken Jounin.  Kakashi giving romantic advice.  Set not too long after the mission to avenge Asuma.


The bar is noisy, and crowded, and Yamato is beginning to wonder why he agreed to come out this evening in the first place. He understands cultivating a sense of camraderie outside of missions and such, but there have got to be better ways of doing it than this.

"A thousand laps, Gai?" Kakashi is laughing behind the mask. "Don't you think that's a little extreme, even for you?"

"They _bleached_ my jumpsuit, Kakashi," Gai says, very seriously despite the grin he wears. "I can appreciate such hijinks as a Natural Expression of Youthful Exuberance and a fondness for the Student-Teacher Bond we've formed, but that doesn't mean I'm going to let it go Unpunished!"

"They were all in on it? Even th' Hyuuga kid?" Genma asks, snickering-almost giggling, really, further into his cups than the other three at the table.

"Neji has been growing somewhat closer to Naruto, since he returned," Gai explains, "and while it's definitely Good For Neji, Naruto's influence can produce...Undesirable Results, sometimes."

"Like a willingness to go along with pranking his sensei," Kakashi surmises, the sympathetic pat to Gai's shoulder somewhat undermined by the obvious mirth still in his voice.

"Yes, precisely!" Gai confirms, and takes another swig of the vividly-pink virgin cocktail in front of him without upsetting the green paper umbrella on its rim.

Yamato supposes, on further thought, that he's probably the only one in here who thinks that drinking is overrated; everyone else seems to be having a marvelous time.

In the name of friendship and peer bonding and such, then, he finishes off his beer and excuses himself to go get a second.

"We should do this more often than we do!" Gai is saying when he returns. "It is good to remind ourselves of our Friendships and the Simple Joys in life!"

"Here's to frien'ships an' simple joys, then," Genma says, raising his sake cup.

"To friends old and new," Yamato adds gamely.

"To the Friends we made in our youth, and the Friends we haven't yet met," Gai continues.

"And to all the friends we've had to bury," Kakashi finishes, and they all toast and drink.

"Miss seein' Asuma 'n Kurenai in here," Genma says after, somewhat sadly.

They all pause for a minute, paying silent respect to Asuma's memory and thinking of Kurenai, whom they haven't seen much of since Asuma died.

"They were good for each other," Gai says at last, momentarily somber, then: "Even though it may be taken away too soon, everyone should know That Kind of Love once in their life! Everyone should have a Special Person to share such Love with for as long as they can!"

Genma makes a scoffing noise into his sake. "Some'f us're too far gone for all of that."

"Hear hear," Kakashi agrees lackadaisically. "Count me out."

Yamato takes another small sip of his beer and says nothing; he realizes he hasn't said much all night but the conversation is turning from maudlin to morose and he really doesn't have anything to add.

"Don't be so downhearted, Kakashi!" Gai says, clapping Kakashi heartily on the back. "There is always Hope - !"

"No, really," Kakashi cuts him off, waving one hand negligently. "Those days are long past, if I ever had them at all. Too late for me." He downs another shot, and Yamato is looking right at him but still doesn't see how he manages it past the face mask.

"Too late for what?" asks Anko, sauntering over, beer bottle in hand, from the table where Iruka and Ebisu are arguing animatedly about something or other. She twirls the one empty chair around and plunks herself down, straddling it backwards.

"Too late f'r looooove," Genma drawls, swirling the dregs of his sake around the bottom of the cup.

"You guys are _so_ toasted," Anko grins, and knocks back the rest of her beer like she's trying to catch up.

"So much pessimism around this table!" Gai declares abruptly, somewhat out of the blue, and pounds his fist into his palm decisively. "We are all much too young to be so depressed! Come, my friends - let's have a brighter outlook!"

The alcohol is the only reason any of them give his words serious consideration.

"Well, it might not be too late for _everyone_," Kakashi says at last, and Genma nods.

"Guess I _could_ find someone to settle down with, 'f I really _wanted_ to," he says. "An' you - " he slings a friendly, sloppy punch at Yamato's shoulder " - you're pretty normal for a high-level sh'nobi, mentally speaking. Firmly grounded, well-adjusted n' all that."

"Thank you. I do try." Yamato thinks it's a testament to how drunk they all are - Gai aside, but then Gai doesn't _need_ to be drunk to be unusual - that they're even having this conversation.

"You're right, you're right," Anko nods to Genma, eyeing Yamato like she's sizing him up for target practice. "We should fix him up with some nice kunoichi who'll give him fat happy little mokuton babies down the road." It's a deliberate dig; she's been after him for awhile to open up to his other friends about his orientation.

He shoots her a look half amused and half exasperated. "Um - "

"_Lots_ of babies," Genma agrees with the decisiveness of the very drunk, rolling right over Yamato's attempted objection. "Roly-poly, plump li'l shinobi of the future!"

"A lady love for Yamato!" Gai chimes in. "Such a glorious idea!"

"She oughta be a sweet li'l thing," Genma goes on, heedless, "but tough, an' cook like nobody's business, so we c'n all come over for dinner, n' she's gotta be smokin' hot, long legs, nice rack - "

"Maybe just mildly hot," Kakashi interjects, looking thoughtful. "Don't want every guy in the village lusting after his woman, do we?"

There are so many things wrong with this conversation, Yamato thinks. Partnering off and making babies is certainly not the be-all and end-all of his existence or any of theirs, but it's hardly worth debating with his drunken peers when they clearly mean well and all in fun.

Besides, there's one point on which he can set them straight that should quash that line of thinking tidily; maybe Anko is right after all. It can't hurt to try.

"Kakashi-senpai," he says, very carefully and very clearly so they'll all pay attention, "I'm _gay_."

They all look at him for a second while he covers a sudden, unfounded flash of nerves in a long pull from his glass, and then Genma shrugs and heaves a theatrical sigh. "So, won' be any mini-mokuton-users in th' future, then."

"Unless he finds a surrogate!" Gai adds, much too brightly.

Yamato heaves a theatrical sigh of his own, and firmly stops himself from wondering if he'd even be able to pass on his unnaturally-inherited abilities to any progeny.

"Doesn't mean we can't still fix him up with someone," Anko says, eyes gleaming. She cocks her head at Yamato and smiles in a way that makes his stomach sink a little; he can tell she's positively elated that he's finally followed her advice and determined to give him some friendly grief for taking so long to do it. "How 'bout Sensei over there?" She jerks a thumb in the direction of Iruka's table.

Yamato sighs again, doing his level best not to let her succeed in embarrassing him. "He's not really my type," he says evenly, sipping his beer. Iruka's probably very nice, he supposes, but he doesn't actually know the Academy teacher and has never looked at him that way. Besides, if he's any judge of body language, Iruka will be going home with Ebisu tonight never mind that they've been arguing all evening.

"Oh? So what is your 'type'?" Kakashi asks.

"For me to know," Yamato says into his glass. He realizes it's a little snarky, but he credits that to the drink and hopes that if he discourages them, maybe they'll drop this fixing-him-up line of talk all the sooner.

No such luck, it seems. "Tall, cool and mysterious?" Anko grins. "Light-haired, loves dogs, loves to read?" She nudges Kakashi playfully.

Once upon a time, maybe, and okay even now Yamato probably wouldn't say no, and Anko is _well aware_ of that. But he's not about to admit it to the rest of them.

"Not really," he says, meeting Kakashi's curious stare. "No offense."

"None taken," Kakashi assures him cheerfully, eye crinkling up happily.

"Raidou's pretty stable, n' I think 'e swings that way," Genma offers, leaning his chair back on two legs - it's amazing he doesn't topple over completely, drunk as he is - and rolling his senbon between his lips thoughtfully.

Yamato resists the urge to thunk his forehead on the table. "No, thank you, _really_," he says, but they don't seem to be listening.

"Perhaps someone from the Aburame clan," Gai muses, and Yamato takes a great swig of his beer, hoping that if he drinks enough he can forget he's in the middle of this.

"Or how about that tarty little artist from Root?" Anko says then, and Yamato chokes on his beer, spraying what's left in his mouth onto the table and coughing violently.

They're all staring at him as he gets himself back under control, Anko pounding him on the back helpfully.

"Please be more respectul toward Sai," he manages, eyes watering. He knows he's a bit red in the face as well but he's hoping they'll chalk that up to the coughing fit.

"He does dress in a Very Provocative Manner," Gai says, rubbing his chin thoughtfully while Anko fetches Yamato a towel from the bar.

"That doesn't make him 'tarty'," Yamato protests with as much composure as he can muster, taking the towel from Anko and mopping up his mess. "I really don't think he knows _how_ to be deliberately provocative."

Kakashi is eyeing him a little too shrewdly for his liking as he finishes wiping down the table.

"So that ridic'lous little half-shirt of his...?" Genma trails off.

Yamato shrugs helplessly. "Well, _I_ can't rationalize it, but I really doubt it's motivated by a desire for sexual attention. I mean...it's _Sai_."

"You're very quick to make excuses for him," Kakashi notes, managing to sound completely uninterested and just a little condescending.

"He's a comrade and a teammate and a talented shinobi," Yamato returns with a touch of heat, "and he's working very hard to learn how to interact normally with other people, and he doesn't get anywhere _near_ the respect he deserves." He realizes he's speaking with a little too much ire, but he _is_ a bit irked by his senpai's dismissive attitude.

He catches on to the fact that he's being baited a few seconds too late, and watches with dismay as Anko _gets_ it.

"...You _like_ him!" she crows gleefully, and Yamato splays an exasperated hand over his face, feeling it heat up again. They're never going to let this go now.

"He's _blush_~ing," Anko sing-songs to the others. "We have a win~ner!" Her smile is entirely too smug, and Yamato loves her like a sister but he _really_ wishes she didn't enjoy embarrassing him so much.

"Well, there y'go then." Genma leans forward, dropping his chair to all fours again, and snaps the senbon up between his teeth so it's pointing at Yamato. "Y'should ask 'im out sometime."

"The last thing Sai needs is his interim squad captain asking him out." Yamato pushes away what's left of his beer; it's not helping anymore.

"Why not?" Gai and Anko chorus.

Yamato side-steps a direct answer. "I'm often in a position of authority over him. I shouldn't do anything that could be misconstrued as an abuse of that authority."

"Seriously?" Kakashi chides. "Yamato, it's _Sai_. He wouldn't know sexual harrassment from a hole in the ground."

"But that's the problem _exactly_!" Yamato returns. "Suppose, hypothetically, I do ask him out and he says yes - how do I know it's not because he thinks he's obligated as my subordinate?"

"Maybe, hypothetically, you could _talk_ to him," Kakashi deadpans. "You know as well as I do he'll tell you exactly what he thinks."

"And what about what everybody else thinks?"

"You can't live your life catering to what others think!" Gai exclaims, aghast. "The only way to be Happy is to be True to Yourself!"

"Gai would know," Kakashi quips, aside to Anko.

Yamato rolls his eyes heavenward. "For god's sake, he's _seventeen_. I'm _twenty-six_. That doesn't seem a bit creepy to all of you?"

"Seems like a convenient excuse, to me," Kakashi counters. "Shinobi grow up a lot faster than civilians. You can't tell me you really regard him as a child."

"Of course not! But - "

"And what's nine years between adults?" Kakashi's expression is all crinkled-up cheer again.

"The older you get, the less it will matter," Gai chimes in, "and if your Youthful Love is True, it will certainly stand the test of time if you prefer to Wait!"

"Who said anything about love?" Yamato protests, alarmed.

"But you _do_ like him," Anko prods.

Yamato deflates with a huge sigh, giving up. "Fine. Yes. I like him."

"Well, there y'go then," Genma repeats, giving his shoulder a friendly pat. "Ask him out."

Yamato shakes his head. "The thing is...it's _Sai_. Root has really screwed him up. He works so hard at being able to interact with people on a normal everyday basis; he's not going to know what to do with a, a...romantic relationship. Not for a long time yet." It hurts to go ahead and say it, for Sai's sake more than his own, but it's the truth.

"Well, then, who better to teach him than you?" Kakashi is actually being serious, Yamato now realizes with a jolt. "Like Genma said - you're extremely well-adjusted and very down-to-earth, very grounded. I think you'd be _good_ for him, that way."

"...Maybe someday." Yamato reaches for his beer again and downs what's left. "There's all this Akatsuki business going on, and Naruto needs so much more training if we're going to be ready for them-it doesn't seem like a very good time to be cultivating romance."

"All the more reason to Seize the Day," Gai says, very seriously. "You don't want to look back with Regret, not knowing What Might Have Been had you taken that chance."

"He's right, y'know." Kakashi reaches across the table and pokes Yamato in the middle of his forehead protector. "So. All out of excuses?"

"I don't even know if he's attracted to men or not," Yamato mumbles; it seems like a very small obstacle next to all the objections they've already shot down.

"Chances are he doesn't, either," says Kakashi, "but again-you can help him figure it out."

"I...well...hrn," he finally says, letting the idea begin to take shape.

Dating Sai.

It's daunting yet appealing, and he mulls it over thoughtfully.

Gai leans across the table somewhat, catching his gaze. "Seize the Day," Gai admonishes, and flashes his toothy grin. "The pursuit of Love is always Worth It!"

Anko stands to leave, twirling her chair back the right way and shoving it under the table. "Go for it," she says, dropping a quick pat on his shoulder, and grins. "You know you wanna tap that sweet ass."

"Hey, now - !" Yamato objects, flustered and flushing again, but Anko is already gone.

Genma is contemplating the shallow depths of his empty sake cup with bleary, heavy-lidded eyes, and doesn't add anything.

"Give it some thought," Kakashi says, with an air of finality.

"I...will," Yamato says, intrigued. He's realizing belatedly how very bizarre it is to be getting romantic advice from Hatake Kakashi; he wonders if his senpai would be quite so encouraging without the alcohol in his system, but decides it doesn't really matter in the end.

Dating Sai.

Maybe it's not such a bad idea after all.

He'll give it some serious thought, when he's sober.

=====  
>Originally Posted: 42/11

_Continued in **Making a Date**_


End file.
